


Like the good old days...

by bellemelody



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bitterness, Drabble, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-18
Updated: 2012-06-18
Packaged: 2017-11-08 01:38:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellemelody/pseuds/bellemelody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> Jin tries to make a conversation, just like the good old days, even if Kame face is now in shadow and Jin prefers to hide his own too.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like the good old days...

**Author's Note:**

> Many Thanks to dear Belle for help <3
> 
> I wrote this drabble almost month ago or maybe even more and just yesterday I decided to post it. Hope you will like it <3

The cigarette continues to burn unheeded between his fingers. He looks absentmindedly at the little red ember. Jin can hear Kame’s heavy breath, and the bitter taste of Kazuya’s cigarettes leave an unpleasant sensation.

“So, is everything all right?” Jin voice sounds hoarse. The crumpled sheets and their scattered clothes show the path they took an hour ago, once more trying to lose all the layers between them and simply feel each other again. Jin tries to make a conversation, just like the good old days, even if Kame face is now in shadow and Jin prefers to hide his own too.

“Like always.” Kame's eyes are glossy in the dim light of the room, his brown hair lies messy on the pillow. Jin remembers the softness, the tingling at his fingertips and the moans near his ear. He licks his lips slowly.

“Any plans?” Jin is curious, Kame hasn’t smoked for years and the cigarettes near his bed are new. If something changes, Jin wants to know.

“What do you mean?” The elegant eyebrow arches and Kame sits up on the bed, takes the cigarette from Jin and inhales deeply. His lips are swollen after their kisses, and there are shadows on his chin from the stubble that will be shaved away come morning, when the perfect Kamenashi will appear. The smoke forms a little cloud around them and Kame's dark eyes are looking at him, relaxed, lazy, and there is a sweet sensation in the pit of his stomach and Jin wants to feel those lips again. Maybe little bit later, they are too comfortable together to waste that feeling right now.

“About your future, I heard you are dating someone now …” Jin thinks that maybe it’s too dark in the room and he wants to see Kame's eyes, to check for the indifferent expression, the one that is there when they talk about some usual things, the ones that are not really important, but Kame pauses. Jin tenses.

“Really? You are interested in gossip?” 

Jin takes the cigarette back, thinking about Kame's lips that can be so thin and give biting kisses that make your skin burn after every brief touch.

“Maybe you want a family?” Jin asks finally, hoping he sounds nonchalant, and he feels Kame’s heavy look on him, almost too heavy for him to handle. Jin feels naked, he is naked, but he feels so obvious under those eyes that know perfectly every little shadow of his voice and every hidden meaning of his words.

“Maybe,” Kame says thoughtfully, like he is seriously thinking about this possibility.

“So it’s serious?” Jin's looking at the glowing light between his fingers. Kame's stretched out on the bed and is hugging his pillow, hiding his face, lying there at Jin's side, very close and warm. Like the good old days.

“Maybe.” Kame must be tired after work. Jin traces his silhouette in the darkness, all curves and softened edges of his body, pale without any covers. Jin puts the cigarette between his teeth and picks up the blanket from the floor and covers them both. The muffled approval is an answer.

“So you want to marry her?” The question sounds too emotional for Jin's liking; he tries to sound just curious, not perplexed. Kame's soft laugh and then his eyes looking through the bangs, amused, Kame can see through all Jin's pretending and fear, he knows all the words Jin didn’t say aloud.

“We still have time, why be in such a hurry?”

The pause is long, maybe thirty seconds, but for Jin it is more like eternity, and then he tries to find a reason, to make things clear, to make himself look better in Kame's eyes, because Kame has never asked.

“I just want that baby.” Jin wants to sound confident in his own actions, mature, but it comes out apologetically.

“I know.” Kame's breath is steady, like he is falling asleep, but he is not, his eyes are burning still, he bites his lower lip playfully and Jin puts out the cigarette in an ashtray near the bed. He snuggles closer and feels Kame's hands at his waist now, pressing closer and teeth tease his earlobe. Jin gasps, closing his eyes and letting Kame take control.

When Kame kisses him, Jin closes his eyes, and thinks about the owner of the bitter cigarettes.

~*~

After Jin closes the front door, he spends a few minutes standing there, looking blankly at the dark surface. Like the good old days, he thinks. Their life is not staying at the same place, they are getting older and Kame has his own life now, the one without Jin. Maybe it’s fair enough, because Jin has one too. Yet.

Jin leans against the dark door, feels the coldness of the metallic surface. Jin can change his life, but when he thinks that one day someone else will take his place near Kame’s messy hair and leave a different trace on the pillow in the dim light, he feels the cold emptiness inside, like the a frozen snowfield , where it’s too difficult to breathe.

Even if their worlds will start circling in opposite directions, the idea of things changing makes Jin feel sick. He has no idea how to call what he has with Kazuya; they never were able to come up with a name, a way to label it. It always was more, not just sex, it is more than sex. Through non-existent relationships, screwed up friendship, too many harsh words and drunnken scandals, through jealousy and furious red eyes, even when Jin couldn’t sleep and feels like a stalker, Kazuya always let him in, opening all the doors between them and then closing one behind them, maybe shutting the most important one, the one that has both of them together on the same side behind it.

What does Kazuya feel? When they are together, pressed so close, their hearts beating so fast, and his short fingers playing with sensitive skin and firm lips. Jin still feels so unsure about what they share together, even after all these years. Does he need a name for this? 

Jin knows only one thing; whatever it is he doesn’t want it to ever end.

As long as Kame will open this door, letting Jin enter, he will return.


End file.
